Horrible Special Effects

Special effects can be awesome. They can bring you further into a movie when well done, sometimes even being the main draw to a movie. On the other hand, they can be really poorly done. Sometimes it's funny, other times it's just so bad it rips you right out of the experience. Here's a bunch of really bad special effects.

Shark Attack 3 - a shark attack somewhere in the movie. It's just embarrassing. I've never seen the movie myself, but it looks like nothing but a Jaws rip-off.

Are You Afraid of the Dark? - wow, worst outline I've ever seen. I don't even know how to comment on this one. "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" is a TV show I've never heard of until seeing this clip.

Metamorphisis.-  More of a bad costume than a bad special effect, but still. Also, why does this dinosaur sound like a T-Rex?

Superman 4 - Sorry, couldn't find any clips of this, so I'll have to describe them as best as I can. Firstly, this movie contains the most unconvincing blue screen shots ever. There's one shot in particular where Superman flies toward the screen, which you see seven or eight times during the movie. I counted three times when I could see the wires lifting people up. Anyway, since I can't provide a good example, here's another ridiculous scene from the movie. Yup, you saw that right, breathing in space.

Bloody Predator (warning, language in clip) -  Worst...cgi...ever. Seriously, wow! I love it how the girl never runs out of ammo in this video. Contains some really great fire effects too...NOT!


Anyway, that's all for now. I may do this again, or at least something similar.

Awesome game quotes

World's Scariest Police Chases (PlayStation)
"And now the punk who had no respect for other people's property will become someone elses property...in jail!" - Announcer

Zero Wing (Mega Drive)
"All Your Base Are Belong to Us" - Cats

Half-Life series (PC, PS2, Xbox, Xbox 360, PS3)
"Prepare for unforeseen consequences" - G-Man

Metal Gear Solid 2 (PS2(originally exclusive), PC, Xbox)
"I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on hiri-kiri rock... I need scissors! 61!" -Colonel

Team Fortress 2 (PC, Xbox 360, PS3)
"IF GOD WANTED YOU TO LIVE HE WOULDN'T HAVE CREATED ME!" - Soldier

Fatal Fury Special (NeoGeo)
"Your fists of evil are about to meet my wall of niceness" - Tung Fu Rue

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazzard (Xbox 360, PS3)
"It's hazard time!" - Matt Hazzard

Uncharted 2
"Look, a statue of your mom" - Drake

Metal Gear Solid 4 (PS3)
"Hold it Snake, time to change the disc. I know, I know...it's a pain. But you need to swap Disc 1 for Disc 2. You see the disc labeled "2"?" - Otacon
"No" - Solid Snake
"Huh? Oh wait! We're on a PS3; it's a blu-ray disc. Dual-layered too - no need to swap." - Otacon
"Damn it, Otacon, get a grip!" - Solid Snake

Left 4 Dead 2(Xbox 360, PC)
"I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made a homemade bumper car ride with ridin' mowers in his backyard? Mower blade wounds over 90% of his body. I didn't run him over either, he somehow managed to fall under his own." - Ellis

Top 11 Superhero Movies

Superhero movies are all the rage these days. We're getting more comic book adaptations  than we are pretty much anything else. We've got several reboots in the works (Superman, Spider-Man exec), many sequels (untitled Batman 3, Iron Man 2, exec), and...just too many to count. So I'm going to list off my 11 favorite Superhero movies ever.

11. Superman Returns - While no where nearly as good as the original two starring Christopher Reeves, this is a strong enough movie in it's own right. The special effects are amazing, especially in the airplane scene. This movie wisely ignores the existence of Superman 3 and 4, and instead says that Superman left Earth for a while and has returned. He finds that the world has moved on without him. What follows is a rather dramatic movie, although perhaps too dramatic at times. Kevin Spacey is awesome as Lex Luthor, however Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth look too young as Superman and Lois Lane. Overall, a strong movie, even if it's not the strongest Superman movie ever.

Hogan's Heroes

Today I'm writing about one of my favorite TV shows, called Hogan's Heroes. Basically, it's a World War 2 comedy. "But how do you take the deadliest and most expensive war in history and turn it into a comedy?" you might ask. Well...it's in a German prisoner of war camp, where the allied prisoners are running an escape business right under the Germans' noses. The show was made in the mid-60's, but doesn't feel the least bit aged. While the show was controversial when it first aired in the 60s, it's not the least bit offensive. It denies nothing about the war, it just makes fun of it (mostly of the Germans). Many Jews complained about the show...ironically the four biggest German characters in the show were portrayed by Jews, one of which survived the holocaust.

Game review - Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

Big Rigs is a PC truck racing game that was originally released in 2003. Hardly anyone's heard of it, which is a tremendous shame considering it's one of the greatest games ever made. Why?

For one thing, it’s a truck game where you drive, um...trucks. Driving trucks just makes you feel macho. This game goes further and makes you feel unstoppable. How? You can literally drive through everything; trees, buildings, and even other trucks. Even better, going uphill doesn’t slow down your immensely powerful truck. You can even drive right off the map and into the air, allowing your truck to fly in nothingness.

Have you ever felt like driving a rocket truck that goes backwards? Well…now you can. In Big Rigs, once you hold down the reverse button, you don’t stop accelerating backwards until you let go. Letting go of reverse also activates the emergency warp speed stopper mechanism thingy and stops you instantly. You can also turn on a dime, no matter how fast you are, without flipping the trucks. No game will ever make you feel more unstoppable than this masterpiece.

Movie Review - Superman IV: The Quest For Peace

    Superman is one of the most famous superheroes in existence. And why shouldn't he be? He's a representation of everything a superhero should be. He's kind, he's very smart, he's insanely powerful, and he can fly. Despite this, he has his weaknesses to Kryptonite, a radioactive substance from his now destroyed home world, as well as  magic (we never see this in the movie series however.) The first two Superman movies were awesome, and despite their age I'd argue they're among the best superhero movies I've ever seen. Superman 3 sucked, that's all you need to know about it, but Superman 4 is a great movie and returned the franchise to it's roots. It also has an engaging anti-nuclear story that will keep you at the edge of your seats the whole time.

    It starts out in space, where an astronaut is working outside on his ship. Out of no where, a piece of a spaceship nails him in the face. Owned! He's knocked away from the ship, but luckily Superman comes and saves him. He guides the spaceman back into the airlock and then speaks in space. It's here when we learn about the first of his new superpowers in this movie, cause flying, virtual invincibility, laser eyes, X-ray vision, super speed, and ice breath wasn't enough. The rest of the movie has many different sub-plots, so I'll be focusing on one at a time rather than jumping all over.

Movie & Game releases this week

Movies:

Edge of Darkness trailer - From the director of Casino Royale comes Mel Gibson's return to what he's best at; action movies. This I want to see.

When in Rome trailer - It's a comedy, and I can't say I have any interest in it.


Games:

Shadow of Destiny (PSP) - this is a remake of a PS2/PC adventure game originally released in 2002. Called Shadow of Memories outside of North America. That's all I know about it.

Blood Bowl (Xbox 360) - A fantasy football game that's already out in Europe. I'm not into sports games, so I'm probably not going to get it.

Horrible Histories: Ruthless Romans (Nintendo DS)

Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: Ultimate All-Stars (Wii) - Seeing how I very much enjoyed Marvel vs. Capcom games, I have no doubt I'd enjoy this one too. Unfortunately, I don't have a Wii yet.


No More Heroes 2 (Wii) - I've played the first one and enjoyed it. Here's another game coming out this week that makes me wish I had a Wii.


MAG (PS3) - This shooting game looks frickin' awesome. 256 player matches. This is one I'll definately have to get at some point.


Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360, PC) - This combination of RPG and third person shooter is another one I'd like to get at some point. This also makes me want to finish the first game as I haven't yet.

And those are all the notable titles I can think of.

Movie Review - Titanic: The Animated Musical

Before you ask, yes, this masterpiece of reality-based fiction exists. It's too bad that such a piece of work is hardly known, I mean...you've likely seen plenty of movies that borrow from it. Before I get into that though, I'll introduce you to this fine movie.

This animated feature is the story of what really happened on the Titanic, and none of this James Cameron junk. Why do I say it's the actual story? Because it claims to be right on the back of the DVD cover, and everyone knows you can always trust a DVD by it's cover.

It starts off with the sinking of the Titanic as people are rowing away in their little lifeboats. The camera primarily focuses on the main character, an young woman...or teenage girl named Angelica (the movie never explains her age, but a masterpiece like this doesn't have to.) The sight of the Titanic sinking is so incredibly moving and saddening that it even makes the dalmatians cry. The shots are so well done that we have the pleasure of watching it several times over. It's also beautifully drawn at about 4 frames a second. We then zoom into her eyes to begin the movie long flashback.

We are now on a train, watching Angelica looking at a picture in her necklace of some lady. Her evil step mother and step sisters are also on the train, saying that she'll never find her mother. She argues back that she will, and then we end this two sentence scene and move to the next. Wow, already we know this movie's going to be fast paced too...and that "Cinderella" was based off of it.

Movies That Were Important to My Childhood

    I'm sure most people that grew up in a developed country since the 70s can think of at least one movie that meant a lot to them as a kid. I can think of a number of movies that I watched over and over again, some of which I still watch today. I'll be doing this post straight out of memory, cause researching movies you loved as a kid is cheating. So without further delay, here's a list of movies that I loved as a kid, and what I think of them today.


Home Alone trilogy - As a kid, I loved the first three Home Alone movies. Besides, what kid doesn't love watching a fellow youngster pwn criminals with homemade traps. The first two movies star Kevin, the youngest kid of 5. He feels like an outcast in the family, causes trouble, and is sent to the attic to sleep. A storm knocks out the power, causing their family to rush to the plane for their Christmas Vacation. Kevin is left behind however, and spends the holiday home alone and engaging in a pseudo war with two idiotic criminals (well, one's idiotic, but the other isn't particularly smart either.) The second one is similar, but instead Kevin gets on the wrong flight and heads to New York. In the third Home Alone, Kevin is not even mentioned, and Alex is the star. He has the chickenpox, and everyone in his house is too busy to stay home with him. As a kid the only thing I cared about was the traps and other tricks Kevin and Alex set up. These days, I still enjoy the first two, but Home Alone 3 is OK at best. I never saw Home Alone 4 as a kid, and I'm glad for it...it's terrible.

God of War 3 Titan Gameplay (link)

Destructoid has a preview of God of War 3 that everyone interested in the game must read: click here.

Leaked Halo: Reach screenshots

Some screenshots of Halo: Reach have been leaked. Click here.

My favorite games of 2009

I know it's a bit late to post this kind of blog post, but having just started this blog, I thought I might as well add it.

This is a list of my favorite games that have come out this year. I haven't yet played everything I would like to, but this isn't a list of the best games of the year. Anyway, let's begin.

Honorable mention: Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazzard. (Xbox 360, PS3) This is a spoof of the last 25 years of gaming. You play as a returning action game star, Matt Hazzard...even though this is actually his first game. Gameplay-wise, this isn't exactly the strongest game I've ever played, but it's hilarious. There are also lots of nice touches that will remind you of games you've played in the past. If you've been playing games for a while, even casually, you will likely love this game. The only complaint I have is that there isn't much variety in music, and it keeps playing over and over. This is a minor complaint since it's generic enough to not get annoying, and on the 360 I can easily play my own music instead. This game is dirt cheap used ($15 at EB), and well worth it. In no way is this top 10 material, but it deserves a mention anyway.

11. Borderlands (Xbox 360, PS3, and PC) This is a combination of an FPS and an RPG, so I guess I could call it an RPS. Anyway, this game's loaded with different guns and different abilities. It's also a fairly big game (don't worry, it's no where nearly as big as Oblivion.) I usually never finish this kind of game (open world games), but I've enjoyed this one enough to actually complete it. Long story short, it's huge, and it has lots and lots of guns.

Movie Review - The Crawlers / Troll 3 review

    I'm sure many people have heard of Troll 2 by now. It's legendary status of cinematic brilliance is known throughout the internet, and the world. With that, let's start my Troll 3 review.

    It was actually kind of hard to find this movie.In fact, I had to buy a former rental VHS copy on Ebay. At first glance, this movie looks nothing like Troll 2, but they're actually connected in a well disguised way. This movie actually has a number of titles: The Crawlers, Contamination.7, Troll 3, and the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME! How nobody knows about it will forever be a mystery.

    Anyway, the movie starts off with two girls on a bus. For now, I'll just call them girl 1 and girl 2. Girl 1 says,

    "I'm going to visit my boyfriend. I haven't seen him in months. I can't wait. Do you have a boyfriend?"

    Girl 2 says, "No."

    Such engaging character dialogue deserves the academy award this movie never recieved. We then reach a gas station, where the bus driver runs toward the washroom. Girl 1 gets off the bus, we're not quite sure why, but the bus driver comes back and takes off without her. She asks the old gas station owner when the bus is, and he answers "Thursday". This mean's she's stuck there for a couple days unless someone else can give her a ride. She pets the old man's dog for a couple minutes, showing us the important development that she likes dogs. After a while, some middle aged dude with messy long hair offers her a ride. Being the smart girl that she is, she accepts the offer from the obviously friendly stranger.

    We then move to Girl 2, named Josie, who arrives at her parents place. Josie gives her 10-year-old brother a present. He unwraps the present instantly between shots and reveals it to be a Venus Fly Trap.

    "I hope you're still into plants," She says.

    Her brother is purely joyful for this carnivorous plant, which shows that he um...is obsessed with plants. This carnivorous plant is also vastly important foreshadowing.

    Her brother asks Josie if she's going to marry Matt, her boyfriend, because they love each other so much. Judging by the fact that she told Girl 1 that she didn't have a boyfriend, there's going to be some tension when they meet again.