Thursday, January 20

Movie Review - Superman, the 1975 Musical


    Remember Superman 4? It holds nothing to the 1975 Superman musical in terms of pure, concentrated suckitude.

    “It's a Bird...It's a Plane...It's Superman” was a broadway musical first produced in 1966. The show was generally well received but failed to catch on to audiences. Heck, it received several Tony Award nominations. It’s had several revivals since – most recently last year in Dallas. Easily the most notorious was this piece of crap, which seriously cut the piece down in length and removed much of the energy from the original production. But is it really that bad? Does it deserve all those scathing reviews it received over the years?

    Before I get started, let’s look at some of the people who have portrayed Superman in the past. First we have Kirk Alyn, who portrayed Superman in several multi-part serials.



    Next we have George Reeves, who portrayed Superman in a weekly TV series that lasted two seasons. Sadly George Reeves died of an apparent suicide in 1959, although some believe it was a murder.


    Probably the most famous portrayal of Superman, and my personal favorite, is Christopher Reeves. He needs no real introduction and if you really want to know more, just watch Superman 1 and 2 (I reviewed the Richard Donner Cut of Superman 2 a while back.)


    Most recently you have Tom Welling portraying Clark Kent as a teenager in the show “Smallville” before he becomes Superman…

    And Brandon Routh portraying the superhero in “Superman Returns”, a semi-sequel to Christopher Reeve’s Superman 1 and 2 (wisely ignoring Superman 3 and 4.)


    As for the musical, the original production featured Bob Holiday as Superman.


    All of those actors look the part, wouldn't you agree? So how does the musical fare?


    Really? This is the guy playing Superman in this piece of crap? That face is about as intimidating as a ball of yarn. He doesn’t look like a superhero, he looks like his face has been punched in by a superhero. OK he isn’t ugly by any means, but who would look at that face and think “Hey, it’s Superman!”? Well, maybe he looks better as Superman.


    Nope, he still sucks. The actor's name is David Wilson, and I don't mean to say that he's a bad actor - he's simply not right for the role of Superman. He's been in a number of movies since, but mostly in minor rolls or in TV movies. Anyway let’s get this over with, cause this is a long one.

    The movie starts with a quick trumpet scale and the title card. A very boring title card I might add. It then gets right into the cast introductions. Yeah, it introduces each cast member as they introduce their characters.
The first character introduced is Max Menken, played by Kenneth Mars.


    He looks up at the camera and says "I hate Superman; big showoff". That's right, the first real line of dialogue in a Superman movie is "I hate Superman," which makes you think if the makers of this movie hate him. Max also comments that anyone without a last name must be "kind of weird" and that Superman is pushy.


    Next up, Lois Lane, played by Leslie Warren, who says "I love Superman. it's not that he looks just wonderful..." Yeah, we all know you're obsessed with Superman Lois, now shut up and make me an article! Sorry I couldn't resist.


    We're then introduced to Sydney, played by Loretta Swift. "I appreciate Superman, but I love Max Macken...As for Superman, how could I possibly be interested in a Man whose clothes are prettier than mine?"


    Really? These clothes are prettier than yours? They look like a bunch of bed sheets and rags cut out into a Superman outfit. Heck, the Batman costume in the Adam West series had more dignity than this...thing.


    Now for "lovable mad scientist" Dr. Abner Sedgwick, played by Michael O'Sullivan. "I am superior to Superman, and I intend to destroy him before your very eyes." Too late, the movie has already destroyed him. "He stands between me and the one thing I want the most...the world!" I have no idea who this douchebag is but since he's not Lex Luthor I do not care.

    The last to be introduced is Superman, played by David Wilson. He says that someone's holding up the bank, but he can't change because there's a woman in the phone booth. Really? FIND ANOTHER BOOTH or you know, change somewhere else. Just because the phone booth is Superman's favorite change room doesn't mean they're his only change room - watch the Christopher Reeve movies for proof of this. Anyway when the woman leaves, he changes into his Superman outfit with the power of bad editing (it instantly cuts to him popping out with his outfit on.) He's not even remotely standing in the same position before and after the cut - this is embarrassing. Of course, we don't see the bank holdup because this movie has no budget, so it cuts straight to another title card.


    Chapter 1: Who he is and how he came to be...weak. He starts by saying happily that a planet exploded and that "One innocent babe" was the only survivor. You can't say that in such a happy tone dude, an entire civilization was just wiped out. "The rocket lands fortunately in the heart of the good old USA."


    There's a short scene with Clark's earth parents finding the rocket and PICKING IT UP TO BRING IT HOME! How can an old man pick up a rocket that's taller than him with his bare hands? They're also not the least bit upset when Clark has smashed through the nursery wall again and even laugh about it. The narrator then says that after his foster parents died, Clark decided to use his powers to help mankind. Again, he sounds so happy to talk about death. This movie is far more morbid than it should be. Also, this intro doesn't tell us how he came to be, it only tells us how he got to earth, therefore the title of this chapter is a total lie.


    Oh crap, it's time for the first song. A bunch of civilians keep repeating "We need him" while dancing around. The chorus and verses simply do not match and they feel like completely different songs. In the verses, they talk about some of the heroic things Superman has done, like flying an asthmatic kid all the way to Albuquerque.Yes, because flying an asthmatic hundreds of feet in the air is a great idea - how is Superman considered a hero in this world?

    Now's a good time to point out that all the backgrounds look like they were drawn and constructed by kindergarten students. Confirmed, this movie has no budget.

    Right as the song finishes, another title card tells me to stay tuned for Chapter 2: The merchant of Doom! That's interesting, I don't talk about doom enough on this blog even though it's called "Blog of Doom." After a short black screen, another title card shows up saying "Chapter 2: Merchant of Doom." I'm sure that was all fine and dandy for the original TV broadcast, but was it necessary to include that in the DVD release? At least cut out the repetition. The narrator tells us that Clark Kent works for the Daily Planet as a reporter. The scene is set up like a sitcom, and even the dialogue is like a sitcom.

    "Hello Lois, you look nifty today," Clark says.

    "Oh Clark, have you been there all along?" Lois replies.

    "Yeah, for four hours." Then Max starts talking to Sidney about his new column,

    "You stood me up last night, why should I?" Sidney asks.

    "Because I'm gorgeous!" Max talks about how he's writing a scathing article about Superman and runs into the editor's room shouting "Stop the presses." Clark then says that he must have quite the story, to which Lois says,

    "Oh Clark, have you been there all along?" This is already the most repetitive movie I've ever seen and I'm only 8 minutes in. Lois then complains about how all she ever writes about is Superman and that their entire relationship is Superman saving her life.


    Oh crap, we have another song coming don't we? Yup, Lois starts singing about how she's got a wasted life with Superman. She sings about how she wants to be in love with him. As she continues to sing about how she should find another man whose feet stay on the ground, I have to constantly pause this thing and look away in fear of going completely insane. This song is horrible. Sure, her voice isn't that bad, but the tune is weak and silly, the background singers are annoying, and I'm pretty sure it's going to get worse later on.
After the song finally ends, she runs toward the editor shouting,

    "Stop the presses!" Wait, is she running toward the editor, because she's running the opposite direction that Max Mecken ran earlier. Bad continuity in a musical comedy? That's impossible! Clark then walks slowly behind Lois saying,

    "Could you slow down the presses a little?" You know, they'll very rarely stop the presses for anything. As a Journalism student I know this. Why? Because stopping the presses means a delay in delivery. Many people will complain about this - the only reason they'll stop the presses is if something huge comes along. If you miss the deadline in the Journalism world, sucks to be you because the story is either thrown out completely or delayed for a day (depending on the story.) There's no way they'll stop the presses for some columnist or Pro-superman article when the hero's been around for quite a while. I could go on about this, but I doubt you care so moving on.

    We now see the mafia, and they also want Superman gone. This is the silliest portrayal of any criminal group I've ever seen. They're all wearing hats and standing up as their leader comes in as if it's some pseudo-military event. Heck, they even have a pledge of allegiance.


    "I pledge allegiance to the mobs of the United hunts of the Underworld. One family, all invisible..." I'm ending it there because I can't quite make out the rest, but you get the idea. The leader then starts talking,

    "There's somebody we gotta take out; somebody's giving crime a very bad name." One gangster shouts out,

    "Marlon Brando?" The frick? Are they making fun of the fact that Marlon Brando played Superman's dad in the Christopher Reeve movies? Wait, that movie came out several years later, never mind. The crime boss says he's put out a contract for Superman. Question – how can Superman be giving crime a bad name when he isn’t a criminal? Also, crime already has a bad name, so why would you wanna take some psychopath out simply because he’s making it worse? If anything, you’d want this guy to stay alive since he takes the police’s focus off of you. Anyway, his reward for taking Superman out is Florida, Um… OK. Oh crap, another song is starting up.

    This song is about how good their country is, and how it'll be better when Superman is dead. Do they really have to sing about everything in this movie? Not to mention that this is the worst song I've ever heard...ever. These guys simply cannot sing in tune with each other, and the background instruments often pop in and out randomly. Everything feels out of place here. Lyrics include "It's a big country with lots of spots to hide," and "It'll be much better when Superman is dead, dead, dead, dead, dead." This is already worse than Titanic: The Animated Musical. At least that only had three songs and one was half decent. Also, that movie was only 45 minutes long, this one's 90!

    After the torturous song ends, the movie cuts back to The Daily Planet. Dr. Sedgwick shows up and starts talking to Lois. Lois first tells him to see Mr. White if he wants a job, but annoyingly apologizes once the Doctor introduces himself. He asks to talk to her in private, and Lois insists that they are in private until the Doctor points at Clark.


    "Oh Clark, have you been there all along?" How many times are you going to try that joke? It wasn't funny the first time, so I guess the makers thought repeating it over and over again would fix that. That's about as effective as trying to fix a loose bike chain by putting three more chains on the same bike. Clark gets his tie caught in his typewriter as he tries to leave, so he takes the thing with him. Lois then says she was disappointed that the Doctor didn't get the Nobel Prize last year.


    "You can't win them all," Sedgwick replies.

    "But you haven't won any." Sedgwick then scrunches his face up as if he's about to have a major heart attack.


    Sedgwick rambles on about how he was happy that a scientist from Tokyo received it one year when the two were working on the same thing while hyperventilating, re-enforcing the thought that the actor was about to die. Sedgwick casually ‘slips’ that he has some death ray originally built to stop rebelling students at the university. How could anyone get away with that? Anyway, he says that it's gone out of control and that Lois should warn Superman before it kills everyone in the city.

(nice special effect there)

    Clark/Superman overhears this because of his super hearing power and when he walks into the elevator, it cuts to Superman barging out of the telephone booth. Is it really important to show him coming out of the booth every time? The movie cuts right back to Sedgwick talking right at the camera that this death ray is a trap. Why does he need to explain this when he's already told the audience he wants to kill Superman? The narrator then asks,

    "Will Superman make it in time? Find out in chapter three, Superman makes it!" What a perfect way to keep us in suspense, by telling us exactly what happens in the title card. Also like chapter two, chapter three is announced twice within seconds of each other. Suspenseful music is played in the background while the narrator asks "Will he make it?" Right away, Superman lands in front of a cardboard building covered in green crayon work that’s supposed to look like leaves and says,

    "Made it!" Holy crap this movie is going to be the end of me. "Now to tame that death ray." Superman walks through a brick wall into what's supposed to look like an office. Inside there's a scientist that looks more like he's had way too much coffee than he does scared. The scientist asks Superman to destroy the death ray, and Superman does.


    Of course not without yellow filters that make it almost impossible to see what's going on. When Superman reaches the death ray, several ‘Pow’ words pop up like the Adam West Batman TV series, and an explosion occurred. If they could afford the explosion, why couldn't they afford convincing backgrounds?

    The movie cuts to Lois on the phone, typing about how Superman destroyed the death ray. Sedgwick is still there and says nothing as Lois runs toward the editor shouting,

    "Stop the presses." How many fricken times can they stop the presses in one fricken day? By now there won't even be a paper for tomorrow. After Lois leaves, Sedgwick smiles at the camera and begins blabbering on about how it's a part of his master plan. Really? A part of your plan to bring Superman down was to make a death ray that would fail to kill him? Weren't you talking earlier about how you were hoping the death ray would kill him?


    "You may ask why I want to destroy Superman. In order to rule the world.” So killing Superman automatically gives you the world? I might be wrong, but there's probably more to the world than that. “You may ask why I want to rule the world. In order to obliterate Sweden." Really? That's the only reason you want to rule the world? Most people want world domination for the power and glory, but you want it specifically to destroy one single country. And why would someone ask why you want to rule the world?

    Also, why don't you just distract Superman with some crazy plot while you use your death ray to kill everyone in Sweden? That would be so much simpler - for a mad scientist, Sedgwick is really stupid. Apparently he wants to obliterate Sweden because he's been the runner-up for the Nobel Prize ten times but has never won. Um, yeah. The simple fact that you've been nominated ten times for the Nobel Prize is an honour in itself and any true scientist would realize that, you fail! And why does the whole country have to suffer when you can just kill the Nobel Prize nominating committee and take it over with clones?

    Oh frick, another song? Sedgwick speaks as silly, annoying background music plays. He talk sings about how he wants revenge. When he gets to the singing, he sounds like he's about to suffer a severe seizure. In fact, after his last line of the song, he turns toward the camera and, I kid you not, he looks like the actor just died on screen.


    Just look at him. Judging by that picture alone, how could you not think he just bit the bullet? He then finishes his revenge song at the beginning of Chapter 4: Sedgwick's Revenge.

(yes, they actually used his "dead" look for the title card)

    Max Mecken overhears Sedgwick's song and they agree to work together against Superman. Sidney walks in as Sedgwick walks out, and Max tells her he has to call of their date for the night. Sidney walks away angrily and a censor bar shows up over her face with a beep sound.


    Did they really just do that? The censor bar doesn't even cover her mouth properly and you can tell she doesn't say anything, making the makers of this movie look like prudes and showcasing this production's low budget at the same time. Congratulations Superman Musical, you've hit a new low. Lois walks by and Max starts hitting on her. Of course, he starts singing to her because everything in this stupid movie is a song.


    Unlike several of the other songs, this one is thankfully forgettable. The background instruments are barely existent. Also, Max cannot dance to save his life. After Max's song ends, Lois tells him to get lost. Sidney then shows up and tells Lois that she should give up on Superman as well, and maybe go out with Clark. Lois declines, so Sidney decides to go after Clark herself. And thus chapter 4 ends.

    "Stay tuned for chapter 5: The Net Tightens...Chapter 5: The Net Tightens!" That's really getting annoying.
Chapter five starts with three of the gangsters chanting...something. They talk about how guns are useless against Superman by comparing them to shower curtains, because when I look at a gun, a shower curtain is always what I think of first. One gangster then suggests that they form some union to vote Superman out and, what? Another reminds them that Superman is invulnerable. They keep babbling on about this invulnerability, in fact one gangster starts complaining that he can't pronounce the word.

    "You think you got problems? I can't even say it."

    "Say what?"

    "Invulnerable." For some reason his proper pronunciation of the word is a cause for celebration among these buffoons. This movie's comedy isn't even as funny as the colour blue. They eventually decide to talk to Sedgwick since he created the death ray.


    Cut to the university, where Max is meeting up with Sedgwick to discuss his plan to kill Superman. "Max, Max, Max...good guys plan, bad guys scheme." Oh I'm sorry Sedgwick, your scheme. Sedgwick then looks straight at the camera and says,

    "The way to destroy Superman is to have Superman destroy himself."

    "You mean that Superman would destroy himself?"

    "Yes, I mean that Superman would destroy himself."

    "You mean that Superman would destroy himself?"

    "YES, I MEAN THAT SUPERMAN WOULD DESTROY HIMSELF." That's not a typo people, they say the same thing back and forth 5 times before we finally cut to The Daily Planet.

    Clark walks into the press room and semi-complains that everyone's gone home. Sidney is the only one left in the room and starts sing-hitting on Clark. Of course it's a song, by now I'd be an idiot to not expect that. Just because you're making a musical, doesn't mean everyone has to sing about everything. Just look at many of the Disney classics. Many of their more popular 80's and 90's movies are considered musicals, and yet they don't sing about everything. The Wizard of Oz is a musical, and yet they don't sing about absolutely everything.


    This song is terribly performed too, almost as bad as the gangster song from earlier. It's too bad too, because the Broadway version of this song was a big hit for a while. Sidney keeps singing,

    "I see possibilities," as she tells Clark how to look more attractive. At first Clark resists, but he starts dancing with her after a bit. If it was me I'd punch her in the face to shut her up. Well...to be honest I'd simply leave but you get the idea. As the song ends, the narrator starts talking again.

    "Will Clark Kent find happiness in a new love? Stay tuned for Chapter six: Clark Kent finds happiness!"


    It takes a special talent to remove all suspense in a movie, but these guys pull it off quite nicely. As Chapter six begins, the narrator says "Chapter six: Clark Kent finds happiness." To make the repetitive nature even stupider, Clark says,

    "Gee Sidney, would you believe suddenly I'm happy." Meanwhile...

    "You mean Superman would destroy himself!" Holy crap these guys are still going on about this? Max finally breaks their collective seizure by asking how. "I thought you'd never ask," Sedgwick comments. I thought that scene would never end. Anyway, Sedgwick's plan is to place Superman in a position where he will disgrace himself - by holding him a thank you ceremony while a disaster occurs elsewhere in the city. By doing this, the public will be outraged. So that's your plan? Did you really need him to destroy the death ray for that? Why not get some thank-you celebration for something else he's done and use the death ray to cause the disaster? It would make sense and you already had the doomsday device...just saying. Max's job is to use the media to make Superman look like a fool. That's not Superman destroying himself, that's...no please no! Another frickin song?

    Not just any song though, but it appears more like a love song between the two villains than anything else. They're dancing as if they're madly in love as Max keeps singing,


    "You got what I need, baby." And let me repeat again, Max simply cannot dance to save his life - and Sedgwick is somehow even worse. I'll give the song this much though, it's friggen hilarious in it's homo-eroticism. I don't think they meant it to be, but it's hilarious. As the song ends, the mafia bursts in and tries to capture Sedgwick. When they tell him they want him to off Superman, he turns to Max and says,

    "I think I have found something I've always wanted...my very own henchmen." And the mafia isn’t' questioning this because?

    Screw it, because it's time for chapter seven's introduction. "Chapter seven: oh Clark, have you been there all along?" Really, that's the title of chapter seven? One of the stupider phrases in the movie so far? I'm only half-way through this monstrosity - HEEEEEELP!

    The chapter begins with Clark kissing Lois, and then Lois asks...I'm sure you can figure it out. Sidney is leaning against Clark's back and the three of them have a stupid conversation about how Sidney and Clark never would have worked out and...ok I do not care, moving on. The editor fires some doofus wearing a giant M on his shirt and calls Clark into his office. Lois then starts singing about how she's always wanted to be a wife. The most commonly repeated phrase in this song is "What I've always wanted," which is repeated at least 20 times in a two-minute song. Clark is sent back out of the office in a panic - he has to cover a story about Superman. How would that make you panic? You're there and one of your powers is of memory, just remember everything said and write the story after with your super-speed- problem solved.


    Meanwhile, the criminals are chanting...something. The narrator then announces chapter eight: Superman..trapped! (Yes, there are two periods there instead of 3.) Seriously guys, either abandon the chapters completely or make the titles, you know, less spoiler-ish. I've never before seen a movie that needs a spoiler alert for itself.


    The movie then cuts to the ceremony, where they thank superman by...naming a Laundromat after him? What the crap? About fifteen "students" are there and cheer at absolutely everything he says. He says that he'll do anything to protect the city and...


    We interrupt this movie with a special news bulletin! The city hall has been mysteriously blown up! Oh I'm sorry, that picture is dishonest, let me give you the real picture.


    Yes, the movie is interrupted by a news bulletin. A reporter is then shown with Max Mencken. The reporter introduces Max as a well known columnist and an expert on city hall explosions and, what? Hm, I guess they really do have experts for everything. See parents, bad movies are educational so let your kids watch more!


    "Well Mr. Mencken, what do you make of this city hall explosion?" "Well...it exploded, that's for certain." Ok that's actually pretty funny. Anyway, Max puts all the blame for this explosion on Superman's head. Right...and the people that caused this explosion aren't to blame because? What if Superman was busy saving other people? What if he was at a ceremony where they were naming a Laundromat after him? What if...never mind, my brain functions on too high a level to question this movie's logic anymore. At the ceremony, the crowd instantly starts shouting angrily at him despite the fact that there are no TV's around for anyone in the area to know about the explosion. At this, the narrator introduces chapter nine: Get Lost Superman. I agree movie - please get lost.

    Max starts the chapter up by showing his article headline "Superman blows it." He brags about how Krypton won't even take him back after that. Really? They wouldn't take him back just because one city hall exploded? Terror attacks happen all the time, not to mention bank robberies. Superman has never completely eliminated crime, he's really just a deterrent that saves the world every now and then. And how could Krypton take him back if the planet no longer exists and Superman's the only survivor anyway? So many questions, so few answers. The entire scene is Max bragging about himself to Sidney as she blows him off. She then starts singing about how he worships himself. Isn't this movie supposed to be about Superman? Why should we care about some arrogant prick journalist who doesn't understand women at all? At least this is among the more forgettable songs though. In the middle of the song, the mafia shows up and knocks Max out. So he gets to miss the end of the song? I envy him.

    The mafia brings Max to Sedgwick's lab. Sedgwick has apparently discovered the identity of Superman, or so he thinks. He describes Superman as a worker for the daily planet who fancies Lois Lane. The brilliant Sedgwick then accuses Max of being Superman because his computer told him. Really? The man who's meddled with subatomic particles, invented the death ray and has made countless other mad-science accomplishments gets Superman's identity wrong? If Max was Superman, how did the mafia dorks knock him out? Max even asks that same question, and that alone sets Sedgwick right. We then get more repetition as they both realize they forgot about Clark Kent, and apparently Sedgwick's computer forgot about Clark too. What, is this computer sentient?


    "You mean to say that Clark Kent is Superman?"

    "I mean to say that Clark Kent is Superman." I thought we were done with this crap.

    Chapter ten is introduced as "Curtains for Superman", and at this point I'm really struggling to get through this thing. The chapter begins with Superman in his apartment moaning on his couch, complaining - sorry, singing about how everyone's turned on him while he puts on his Clark clothes. Yup, Superman goes emo. Also, why are they backing his sad song up with upbeat jazz music? Sedgwick pops by after his song and reveals that he knows that Kent is Superman. Clark doesn't even try to deny it, he just lets Sedgwick in and strips down to his Superman cape.


    Sedgwick starts insulting Superman nonstop, only making the superhero even more emo. He finishes this insult session by calling him a freak, which makes Superman cry. Really? The real Superman is smart enough to figure out that this Sedgwick douchebag is your main enemy here. Heck, he admitted to creating the death ray, he named a Laundromat after you while the city hall was destroyed, and shortly after he finds out who you are and calls you a freak? Even I would have figured out by now that this mad-scientist is out to get you.

    Meanwhile, Max calls Lois over to Clark's place. Um, you really think that Lois will be turned off by her love suddenly being the man of her dreams? So Lois shows up looking for Clark, but when Superman is there instead, she tells him that she's always loved Sups, but is now in love with Clark. Somehow this makes Superman cry even more, and if I hadn't already stopped asking why to these gaping logical holes I'd have several questions to ask here. The mob comes in and captures Lois, yet Superman is too moapy to even notice. That's it, the makers of this movie hate Superman, that's the only explanation for this absolutely horrible take on the Superhero. Superman 4 is far more dignifying than this piece of filth. I can't take this anymore, so I'm going to rush through the rest of this movie.


    Superman sings his emo song again at the bridge, holding an anchor. When he finishes the song, he dives in. The narrator then asks if this is the end of Superman. "Stay tuned for the eleventh and final chapter, Superman triumphant." That's a fast turn-around, don't you think?

    The final chapter begins with the mafia bringing Lois to Sedgwick and Max. They tie Lois to a chair. Sedgwick explains that there are 100 pounds of TNT strapped to Lois's chair, but there's only three sticks of dynamite there. Those sticks can't possibly weigh any more than fifteen pounds (don't know how heavy dynamite is, but I'm pretty sure three sticks don't weigh 100 pounds.) Sedgwick seems to believe that this dynamite can kill Superman. Yes, the man who can safely stand at ground zero of a nuclear bomb explosion, the man who can swim through the mantle of the earth and survive in space will be killed by three sticks of dynamite. I fricken hate this stupid movie and I want it to die! Lois starts singing about how Superman won't let her die.


    She stands up in her chair, showing that they only tied her hands - who hired these guys? This song also happens to be even worse than the gangster song. Max argues that they shouldn't harm Lois, so Sedgwick orders him tied in another chair. They tie him to a chair beside Lois and place his feet on a giant block of ice. The mafia then ties up Sedgwick beside the other two as they want to take over the world themselves.


    Meanwhile at the bridge, Superman climbs back out of the water and is greeted by two hippie students from earlier. They inspire him to become a superhero again by calling Michelangelo and Christopher Columbus freaks. "There's nothing wrong with being a freak as long as you’re a freak in the right direction." Can't argue with that, but would this really be enough to cheer Superman up? Apparently yes, which means that...oh no, hippies save Superman! Bring back the songs please, at least they weren't this stupid.


    Superman busts into the room where all the bad guys are, and the final fight scene begins. Every time Superman punches someone, a "pow" or a "bam" shows up on the screen just like the Adam West Batman series. It's so much like the Adam West series that if you muted this scene and played the batman theme you'd think you were watching that show instead. It's that similar. Instead, we're stuck watching Superman sing as the mafia uselessly attacks him with various weapons.

    This is the bottom of the barrel, the most annoying fighting scene I've ever seen. Seriously, why are they even trying to fight Superman when shooting him doesn't do anything? The fight lasts three minutes - anyone with a quarter of a brain would run as far away as possible. Superman then flies Lois away while leaving the others behind for the explosion. Don't worry though, they're still alive - they just have amnesia. They forgot who Superman was and now Sedgwick is working for the Daily Planet as the science journalist.


    Maybe the Broadway version was better - I'll never know, but this movie is painful. It does far more harm to Superman than Superman 4: The Quest for Peace ever did. In the comics, Superman fails to save people all the time, but the citizens of Metropolis never hate him for it. He never gets moapy simply because people think he's a freak  Superman is very much dignified in the comics and Christopher Reeve movies, but here he's ridiculed. If you're a Superman fan, a Superhero movie fan, or even a musical fan, do not watch this. Take my word for it - it's bad, really, really bad.

Two word review - Superman's Plague

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