The Last Game Store - Halifax

    So I just got back from a little vacation in Nova Scotia to visit my dad's family. While I was there, I went into an independent game store called "The Last Game Store" in Halifax. Why am I writing this? Because it's quite possibly the best game store I've ever stepped into.

    The first thing you see when you step into this little used game shop is a bunch of arcade machines. When I was there, these included Marvel Vs. Capcom 2, Spider-Man, and several other classics. Venture in a bit more and you'll find all their used game consoles in a glass display case. It didn't take long for me to realize that they had full sections for used games from every major game console ever released...yup!

Movie Review - The Land Before Time series part 1 (intro/first movie)

    Over the next month or so, I will be reviewing the entire Land Before Time series. Just so you know, that means thirteen movies and a 26-episode TV show. Like I said a while back, the original Land Before Time movie was important to my childhood, and I still enjoy it today. I watched the first six movies as a kid, and back then I enjoyed them. Now, well...HELP ME! (part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here)

    The movie was directed by Don Bluth, whose a bit of a legend when it comes to animated films - The Land Before Time is considered one of his better films. It's loaded with themes of life and death, as well as strong anti-racist themes. It's actually pretty sad for a family film, but as a result it has one of the happiest endings I remember as a child. Of course like many of their owned franchises, Universal likes to whore them out as much as possible, hence the 12 sequels and TV show.

Movie Review - Home Alone 4

    Alright, today I'm reviewing Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House. I'm not in the mood to joke about how good this one is, so let's just cut right into this crap. For this review, I'll be assuming that you've seen the original. If you haven't, I recommend that you do - it's funny, it's cute, and I still enjoy it. Also, I apologize for the lack of pictures in this review, but I'm having trouble with my computer today. I will add more pictures whenever I get the chance.

    First problem with Home Alone 4, it doesn't have the Home Alone musical theme, or even anything close. Home Alone 3 didn't have it much, but at least it hinted the theme with the movie's intro. Second problem is that it's Kevin Mccalister again. Yup, from the first movie. Why is this a problem? Well, Kevin only has two siblings instead of four: Buzz and Megan, and his parents are getting divorced. That's the way to stomp all over many people's childhoods. Also, it's supposed to be a sequel to the first two, yet everyone in the family looks younger. Also, while Buzz was a jerk to Kevin in the first two movies, he's just way over the top in this one and doesn't even hide it from their mother. They turn Megan into the same kind of jerk too. The worst part of this sequel is that Kevin's parents are getting divorced. Oh yeah, you learn all of this in the first five minutes - perfectly setting the mood for the rest of this abomination.

Why trees are evil

    In the past, I've how the Easter Bunny is an experiment from an evil mastermind whose trying to take over the world. Now I have a further warning. Trees are evil and are trying to enslave the human race. I mean think about it. Surely there are already more trees than human beings on this planet. They're also taller, they live much longer, and their roots get tangled up around underground pipes all over. But rather than simply talking about their evilness, I should probably prove it. Here are seven reasons why Trees are evil and trying to enslave us all.

1. They're brainwashing us into planting more trees - Seriously, don't you think they outnumber us enough already? Not content with outnumbering us in the country, they want to outnumber us in the city too. You see it in schools, you see it in parks, and you even see it in gardens. Surely you must see the influence these trees have on our minds. All this global warming stuff we keep hearing about, and all the pollution...all lies told to us by the trees just so that we plant more of them.

2. They keep stealing our frisbees - I have lost count of the number of sports equipment that I've seen lost in trees over the years. Worse yet, it's always the pine trees that steal the sports equipment - the ones that poke you with thousands of pointy objects when you try to climb them. They only do this for one single puropse...to make us suffer.

Game Review - Spy Games: Elevator Mission

    Today I'll be reviewing Spy Games: Elevator Mission for the Wii. Now the Wii is the best selling current-gen system at 67 million units. Despite releasing a year later, it's nearly 30 million units ahead of the Xbox 360 (which in turn is ahead of the PS3.) It is now the best selling Nintendo home console, and after nearly four years it's still selling out frequently. But as the best selling, and cheapest system, it's also the target for the most shovel-ware. The best selling game system always gets the cheapest, worst games of the generation. Yet among all the crappy games like Super Mario Galaxy, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, and Red Steel 2, there are a few brilliant games like Spy Games: Elevator Mission.

    Elevator Mission is a simple shooting game. You land on the roof of a 50 story office building, and work your way through each floor looking for five data discs. These discs hold information about the corporation's illicit arms dealings. Along the way there are plenty of baddies to shoot. You start with a wimpy little pistol that you have to shoot the bad guys um. once to kill them? This pistol also has unlimited ammo, and is so awesome that it doesn't even make a sound when you shoot. Holy crap! This game makes you feel invincible. The enemy bullets move slow enough that you can dodge them, only adding to your feeling of invincibility. There's also a machine gun and a shotgun that you can pick up later. It's also a corridor shooter like the original Wolfenstein 3D, except it's much, much better. It's games like this, a corridor shooter with three types of bad guys (the only difference is how many times you have to shoot them.) I'm just overwhelmed by how awesome this game is...NOT!

Game review - Quantum of Solace

    Ah, Quantum Of Solace - the game. Typically, movie games don't do very well. They're often rushed to release alongside the movie, usually to capitalize on the movie's success. Sure, there are occasionally good movie games like Return of the King, Spider-Man 2, and even Peter Jackson's King Kong - the game was fairly decent. On the other hand, you got games like ET for the Atari, which is often blamed for causing the video game market crash, Charlie's Angels, which is terrible, and Superman Returns, which I plan on reviewing sometime in the future. So how did this game turn out? Not so well actually.

    Before I begin, you should know that Quantum of Solace is developed by Treyarch, the same company that built Call Of Duty: World At War. They also had over two years to develop this title as Activision decided not to make a Casino Royale game. So on the one hand, this game was built by one of the companies behind the ever so popular Call of Duty series, on the other, they usually make the less popular COD titles. Either way Treyarch should know how to make an epic game, and I had high hopes for this one.

    Before Activision bought the rights to the Bond gaming franchise, EA released eight Bond games. For the most part, these games were just alright. Nightfire was actually pretty good (well, the console version anyway - the PC version is the buggiest game I've ever finished.) I remember playing plenty of Agent Under Fire, the first Bond game on the Gamecube, and I now realize how bad that one was. Apart from that, the only other EA Bond game I've really played was The World is Not Enough for the N64. Decent game, but it holds nothing to GoldenEye 007. When it comes to Bond games, GoldenEye 007 for the N64 is by far the most famous. It's probably the most famous game on the N64 in general, and it proved that FPS games could work on a console. After EA had tried and failed to emulate this success, I was actually excited when the publisher of Call of Duty acquired the rights to the franchise. After playing Quantum of Solace, all that excitement has gone right out the window.

Movie Review - Cool as Ice

     Well now, what can I say about this one? Well, um...it stars Vanilla Ice. The whole point of this movie is to try to make Vanilla Ice look cool...it fails. I have no idea how I could make this movie look good, so I'm not going to try.

     For those of you who don't know who Vanilla Ice is, well, he's a rapper. He was most popular in the early 90's, and is most known for his song "Ice Ice Baby". While most people consider him a joke now, he really helped bring the general hip-hop genre into mainstream popularity. When it comes to his style, at least back then, it doesn't get much whiter.

     I suppose the best way to introduce him is to show you "Ice Ice Baby", so here's a link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rog8ou-ZepE

     Yeah...that was popular in the 90's. And now for the movie.

     I'm still at a lack of words to properly describe this mess. It's more half-music video and half-commercial than anything else. The majority of the movie is either Ice rapping, or riding a bike and posing while music's playing in the background. Is it cool? No. Is it entertaining, well...not intentionally. I kept thinking of different things they could be advertising: anti-depressants, cologne, some allergy drug...some lame dating service.

     When the movie is neither commercial or music video though, it's just silly. One of the funniest, but nonsensical moments, was a blatant Top Gun rip-off, where Ice rides a motorcycle beside some girl riding a horse.

     Even though there's no evidence of a ramp, Ice jumps his motorcycle over the fence. This scares the horse which knocks the girl down. She insults him, they argue a bit, and somehow Ice comes to the conclusion that she likes him. I had no idea that scaring a horse with a motorcycle then blaming the rider could be so attractive. Maybe I should try that. [tries it and get's punched in the face] Oh, maybe not.

Movie Review - Killer Clowns from Outer Space

    Doesn't this movie's title just sound awesome? I mean, Killer Clowns From Outer Space. It just screams of instant classic. How could a movie possibly live up to it's title? Don't worry, this one definitely does. Originally released in 1988, Killer Clowns is one of the best horror movies of all time. It stars clowns, already one of the creepiest entities on earth, and turns them into horror villains from space. If that's not absolute genius, then I have no idea what is. At the same time, the movie perfectly captures the nature of the clown, and makes them genuinely funny. One must wonder why their rock-remix of the famous circus music didn't get any Oscars.

    The movie takes place in a small town called Crescent Cove. We start off with a group of teenagers hanging out in the forest with their cars. Two of them, Mike and Debbie, are talking in the back of one of the cars. These two are dating, and are the first two main characters we are introduced to. An ice-cream truck shows up with it's two hilariously obnoxious dudes driving it. "I'm Jo-Jo the ice cream clown, we'll give you a stick, you'll give it a lick. And it'll tickle you all the way down. Ice cream, ice cream, we brought our goodies here to you! A tasty treat for while you screw! Let's take a break! Cool off those hot lips with our frozen fruity bars! Icy-wicy, fudgy-wudgy bars. And everyone's frozen delight, the lick a stick!" Mike tells Debbie that the ice cream dudes are his best friends. The ice-cream truck leaves shortly. As Mike and Debbie look into the sky, they see a bright yellow light fly across. A drunk hillbilly sitting on his porch with his dog, Pooh, sees it also. "Did you see that little ole sky doggie zip down there Pooh?" The hillbilly brings his shovel along as he heads to the yellow light. The two main teenagers decide to follow it too.

    The hillbilly arrives at a brightly-lit circus tent. "What in the blue blazes is the circus doing here in these parts?" It's tied down with some rather technologically advanced ropes. "I don't know Pooh, you know there's something kinda peculiar around here." As he wanders around, a strange shadow follows him. His dog is captured by a net. He starts shouting stereotypical phrases and repeats "What in tarnation is going on here!" over and over. He punches the tent, only to hurt his hand. "Well I'll be hornswaggled!" He then tries to tear the advanced rope, only to get shocked. "Well I'll be greased and fried!" A creepy alien clown shows up and shoots him with...I'm not sure, but it killed him. Yup, that's why this movie is so incredible, you get such engaging dialogue like that.